When I graduated high school I was filled with a mixture of emotions. I was excited to finally leave school behind and become an individual; an adult if you’d like. I was growing, I was maturing and I was becoming my own person. I finally felt as if I had choice in my life – I could study what and how I wanted.
However, inside I was saddened. I realized during my graduation the slim chances of seeing all my friends in one place again. How often would we meet with each other? Would we still remain close friends, or would we slowly drift apart? Would I find myself alone…?
And then deep down inside, I felt scared. I was suddenly frightened of the unknown world awaiting me. I don’t think I am ready to be an independent adult!!
Of course, growing-up is inevitable (unless you are Peter Pan), and I am now reflecting on all the moments since high school that has helped me to become who I am today. Although, I wouldn’t mind not aging any further if possible – I quite like this age!
Japanese high school graduations are very formal, but not unlike my own graduation ceremony. It was during the rehearsal that I realised how the Japanese always appear like robots. It was crazy to see the students repeatedly practice how to stand, how to sit and how to bow. If they were not in perfect time, they’d practice again until they reached ‘robot-status’. Just imagine, nearly 700 students standing, bowing and siting all with precise movements and timing. It’s kind of eerie!
The one difference I observed was the amount of emotion from the students. It was evident that they were experiencing the same mixture of feelings as I once was during my graduation. Yet, this was a whole other level. As I was learning, many of the students were soon leaving to live on their own, away from their families and even their closest friends. They were not leaving to live only an hour away, some were moving to universities all over the country! This meant they were suddenly independent and ‘alone’. The tears were starting to make sense!
I was visited recently by twoof my third year students who recently graduated. They were filled with emotions – excitement, relief, but most of all sadness and fear. The girls explained that they did not feel prepared for living independently. Their biggest obstacle was cooking for themselves! I offered problems and solutions that I had faced on my move to Japan as a type of reassurance. Yet, although they never verbally expressed it, their sadness at leaving their home city and living away from family and friends was almost overwhelming. I hope I can aide them during their initial weeks away from home.
In the meantime, we enjoyed taking extremely ridiculous photos of each other to lighten the mood!
It’s at this time that I have been reflecting on my own personal growth since moving to Japan. Upon departure, I certainly experienced the same mixture of emotions as I did during graduation – excitement for adventures, fear of the unknown and sadness for moving away from so many family and friends. I look at all the challenges I’ve faced since living here, each have made me into a more independent, mature person. I no longer need to fear the unknown, because I am better equipped for the challenges that lay ahead. So bring it world, because I am finally ready for you!
