Many people ask me the question ‘what has been the most challenging aspect of your life in Japan?’ My answer is usually the stares I receive from the locals. Whether it be on the train, riding my bike or even shopping, the looks I receive can be on the verge of frustrating and annoying. However, there is a second issue that strongly competes with this – body size.
Coming to Japan I never thought my body size would become an issue. In fact, I was actually under the delusion that clothes shopping may be easier in Japan due to their slight statures. Yet, finishing gymnastics does result in inevitable weight gain. What I wasn’t prepared for was how much my body shape would change.
Those who have read past blog posts have known my struggle with living in an Asian culture with my wider hips and butt. Of course, this has resulted in finding no pants while in Japan!! The Japanese women in particular, have little curves and no muscle definition, let alone a belly or butt! I feel like an elephant in a pride of underfed lions.
Living in a society where ‘ultra-thin’ is the norm, seems to have really hit hard. And while many people will comment on how ‘not fat’ I am, when you are among Japanese people 24/7, you cannot help but compare yourself. When they are the only people around, you start convincing yourself that this ‘body size’ is the norm.
Yet, as much as I could strive to have a body like those around me, I know I will never be successful. Unfortunately, you cannot make hips narrower through exercise! Maybe one of the most frustrating things about weight gain, is that you can never choose where you want it to go. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could?
I have been reading articles about ‘fat-acceptance’, ‘skinny-shaming’ and ‘skinny-privileges’, and the arguments tend to drive me insane. A real woman has curves, but being fat means you are unhealthy. To which we continually circle through the vicious body-shaming cycle. However, there is always one body type that is missed – the athletic.
While many will compliment me on my toned arms, it is the one point of my body I am most sensitive about. And it is because I am surrounded by images of how I ‘should’ look and have had comments on how men find me intimidating! Do I really look that masculine?
Though the real question should be ‘why is society making me feel that muscles are only an image of masculinity?’ or 'Why can’t a girl have toned arms and legs and still be considered ‘attractive’ or ‘feminine’?' and 'Why is it that a real woman must have curves?'
All these articles about which body shape should be the ‘norm’, or which should be the ‘acceptable’ or more ‘attractive’, do make me angry. I’m frustrated that I am being told by social media how I should look. How can anyone in society be comfortable with his or her appearance while the body-size debate is so publically argued?
In any case, my New Year resolution is to finally accept me for me; none of this comparison crap; none of this following the current body-size trends. I am me and that is totally okay! I only hope more and more people can also take a pledge to be 'body-happy'. This could settle the 'body-size' debate once and for all!
